The stages of healing from trauma are complex and most definitely don’t occur in a straight line. However, turning the corner to post-traumatic growth is a big step. Growth comes in lots of forms.  Using your story to help others is one way that growth can occur.  Acceptance of your story without shame attached when sharing it is a big step.

The part that is more difficult is identifying the habits, both emotional and cognitive, that are automatic. At one time these habits/coping strategies were important and served the purpose of survival, but once you have faced and moved through the process some of these become stumbling blocks.

I am am discovering that there are more stumbling blocks than I ever realized. Each time I uncover one and chase it all the way back to the source/origin, and inevitably find shame. It’s amazing that as much as you uncover and work on areas where shame has been overpowering, there always seem to be more to uncover. It is overwhelming when you realize all the tiny cracks and crevices that shame can hide in and disguise its self as other things. Trauma isn’t just this big hole in your heart like I thought it was.  It’s more like a cancer that sneaks into all areas and once you think you’ve uncovered and killed it, it shows up somewhere else. I am beginning to think that “healing” from trauma requires something like maintenance chemo. Staying aware and being intentional about self care, genuine introspection, time of prayer and reflection, and talking with those close to you is the prescription. If I am not intentional about that daily then the shame creeps into cracks and crevices so very quickly.

However, it is vital to hold onto the truth that God’s love is capable of penetrating deeper into all those cracks and crevices than shame ever could.  It’s there that His love can replace shame with His blessings of joy, peace, comfort, and worthiness. Spending time with Him and truly taking time for Him to refill your cup is essential. I often feel like my cup has cracks in it so it takes more time and more diligence to keep it full and if I am distracted it can become empty without me even noticing until I hit bottom. This still happens quite regularly.

Balance in life is essential for everyone, but the importance of balance and mindfulness when healing from trauma can be the difference between success and living in the darkness of the shadow of trauma.