The past few weeks a theme keeps surfacing. Maybe….life is really about the process of discovering who you are, and then the challenge is to remain who you are. In adolescence, we spend our time trying on different versions of ourselves and the lucky ones find who they are at their core…..Some spend their life searching. It has occurred to me that there are many things that can “steal, color, or damage” who we are at our core, but that cannot happen without our compliance. Life, to me, is a fight to hold onto who you are in the face of pain, illness, loss, trauma, fear, doubt, and uncertainty. Watching those close to me face some devastating, seemingly unbearable circumstances, living day in and day out with, not one but all of these things tied to their ankles, has left me with the image of a person fighting hour by hour, minute by minute to remain purely themselves. Really that is all we can control…..that’s all we have power over is to refuse to allow the tragedy, the trauma, the undeniable injustices and uncertainties of this world to change who we are. It is in holding onto who we are that we truly understand the meaning behind these verses.

These verses have always been life verses for me. It is the hope that I cling to, but I think the depth that I have come to, in my absorption of the truth of this verse, has become a guidepost of sorts. There are many things about the Bible and my life in Christ that get more clouded and lead to more questions as I grow in my faith and become more aware of the limitations of human understanding and the desire of humans to oversimplify His existence and His word. But suffering and becoming a more pure version of who God created you to be is more deeply understood and palpable than ever before for me now. The depth at which I see the beauty in the struggle and the elaborate depth that one gains holding onto who you are through the struggle can not be gained any other way. I find that the truth of this helps me to see the vision of and HOPE for the depth of our joy in heaven. There is no joy without a deep understanding of suffering, my HOPE lies in the promise of eternal peace, joy, and love and the absence of the emotional, physical, or mental torture of this world.