The past few days there has really been like a burning desire in my heart for the promise of heaven. I agree with this statement of C.S. Lewis. One of the greatest agreements for the existence of a creator is the burning desire of mankind to find God and the innate sense that there has to be something more. That desire for God, for answers, and that deep knowledge that this world cannot be all there is in my mind is the foundation of faith. Where did that desire come from if not planted by our God, and revealed to us as a deep intuitive knowledge that He, God exists? Mankind has sought to find Him from the beginning of history as we know it. Searching for meaning and searching for truth is at the root of human existence, it drives us and it is the emptiness of human life without meaning and truth and the value of life with it that becomes the proof that Truth and Meaning are there to be found. In addition to the freeing nature of truth and meaning, it’s the existence of right and wrong as concepts that also give us a hint into the logic behind there being a higher power. No matter what side of any issue you land on, your opinion or passion is grounded in what you believe to be right and wrong. The complexity of just determining what is right and good versus what is wrong or bad means that in us somewhere we all believe there is a barometer for what is good and true and what is evil and bad. What is that measuring tool and where did it come from if not from a higher all-knowing power? C.s. Lewis challenges us with these lines of thinking and through exploring these concepts I have found freedom in a deep faith that though I cannot know the entirety of who God is, I know He is there.

We look at life with it’s beginning and ending, as Americans, like a timeline to in which our purpose becomes to acquire, accomplish, or experience things, people, or places or as an excuse to live life our way without really considering the cost very much. We approach life as if it owes us something and if we don’t receive what we are owed, somehow we have been ripped off.

What would happen if we looked at life as the training ground for our true home, our life eternal? What would happen if we truly believed the experiences in life were solely to shape us and mold us into our true self, the self we were created to be? What if who we are at birth is just a hint of who God intends for us to become, and that in His wisdom he uses our experiences both good and bad to shape us and mold us into our true selves if we surrender to Him? In surrendering we allow Him to be the potter and end up looking to Him with praise and in awe of his wisdom in creating a world where we can fall and get up wiser.

If I look at life through that lens then life is no longer a clock ticking down with less and less time to experience, have, or achieve what I ‘deserve’. Instead it becomes a training ground where I put in the time training, but all the time looking forward to the payoff that comes when the clock finally stops. Knowing that time with my loved ones and with God doesn’t end when the clock stops, but instead it truly begins with a new more pure and completely fulfilling life. A life that will no longer bring with it the pain of the struggle experienced in this world, but instead gratefulness for the pruning that the struggle brought and the joy in knowing the struggle is no more. In the place of that struggle, there will be the unveiling of the truth and meaning we have sought since birth and immeasurable gratitude that would not be known without the history of struggle.

It is interesting to think about what it means to be made in His image. What is it about our human state that is a picture of God? It’s an amazing thing to dig into. Our emotional nature, our feelings, are there because God values feelings and emotion. Jesus felt love, loneliness, anger, abandonment, pain, hope, joy, and sorrow. This tells me that emotion has value to God and gives life meaning. Logic is also of God, for His intellect and wisdom are evident throughout creation. Wisdom and discernment are most definitely qualities of God. Science, math, problem solving, executive functioning, and all cognitive abilities make us inventors and creative problem solvers.

What I find interesting is that we often try to use emotion and logic to find peace and contentment. We think of peace and contentment as an emotions. To me these are not emotions, but the state of the soul. Although God gave us emotion and logic, He didn’t intend for us to lean on logic and emotion to find peace. When in tribulation or periods of struggle we often turn to our emotion or logic to find a solution and only when the solution is found, implemented, and the struggle eliminated, do we feel peace or contentment. One can be sad and at peace or happy and at peace. Peace and contentment are often mistaken for happiness. In my opinion, joy is also less of an emotion and more of a state of the soul. There is a distinct difference in happiness and joy. The problem is when we think peace and joy can only occur when we solve the problem or eliminate the struggle with our logic or wait to feel good first. For we are told that this life is full of tribulation, so waiting for the hill top moments for peace and joy will leave us ruminating in a valley of negativity for most of our lives. Instead, through growth in relationship with God, we can uncover the peace and joy deep in our soul awakened in the midst of the struggle through closeness with God. It’s a gift, but it is only unwrapped when we let go of defining, in our mind, the line of circumstance where peace will occur.

When we use logic or emotion as the vehicle used to acquire peace and joy, it’s like the carrot dangling in front of the rabbit that he will never catch. Instead when we surrender, when we embrace the struggle, and surround ourselves with God’s Truth, that is when joy and peace illuminate your soul. It is then that they flood into our hearts and we notice them within us with amazement and wonder. Leaving us with a grateful heart in awe of a God who gives peace and joy so generously.

Peace and joy seem elusive. However, when we eliminate the fear and anxiety that has us frantically chasing them with logic and emotion, we realize they are within us buried by that fear and anxiety. Once we let go and trust in the promises of God, they burn so brightly within us that the struggle pales in comparison.

I envision a state of consistent joy and peace in heaven, no longer will they seem so elusive, but instead only magnified to a level we can’t even imagine in this broken world. Until then, I am forever grateful for a taste of the joy and peace we have now being made in His image.

Today my family and I have all struggled with this in different ways. It led to a discussion that really brought the importance of this to light. As children, the devil plants seeds in our minds that are untrue and very dangerous if we are unaware of their existence. One of satan’s favorite lies is that I’m only loved or worthy if I am…….good, successful, the best, beautiful, funny, wealthy, give gifts, etc. Another thought that sows deep seeds is if you worry and strategize you can keep bad things from happening.

None of these are true and the deeper they hide and the longer we believe them the more devastating to our emotional and spiritual health they can be.

In this journey of healing it is easy to think that after two years of digging that I have uncovered all of the false truths in my mind. That is most definitely not the truth and feeling confident is just the opening Satan needs to slide in another seed to cause anxiety in a gradual way that is most of the time unnoticed.

He succeeded in slipping a seed today, but God used a conversation with my daughter to unveil it to me. It highlighted the fact that we need to pray daily, probably even hourly, that God would reveal the false truths that are hiding in our minds and directing our behavior and taking our focus off of Him and His plan for our lives.

After my conversation with my daughter about the false thoughts that I was seeing in her behavior she said, ‘I’m mad.’ I asked, ‘at who?’ She said, ‘at the devil for playing with my mind.’ I reminded her that we have the power through Christ to take our thoughts captive and to refuse to believe the falsehoods that the devil tries to sneak in. In reminding her, I was also reminding myself. That, my friends, is an amazing gift.